How to Help Your Toddler Adjust to Daycare or Preschool

7 April 2025

Transitioning your little one to daycare or preschool? It’s a huge milestone, not just for them, but for you too! Sending your toddler into the care of others, even if it’s just for a few hours a day, can be nerve-wracking. You might feel guilty or worry if they’ll be okay. And for your toddler? Well, let’s face it—they’re stepping into a world where mom, dad, or their usual caregivers aren’t in sight.

The good news? With a little patience (and a lot of hugs), you can help ease this transition and make it less stressful for everyone involved. Ready to dive in? Let’s talk about practical, heartfelt ways to help your toddler adjust to daycare or preschool.

Understanding the Toddler Mindset

Before diving into strategies, let’s pause for a moment. Toddlers are resilient, clever little humans, but they’re also creatures of habit. Imagine if someone plopped you into a completely new environment without much warning. You’d probably feel unsure, uncomfortable, and clingy too, right? The same goes for toddlers.

Their world revolves around predictability and familiarity—these two things make them feel safe. So, when daycare enters the picture, it’s like rewriting their whole playbook. They’re not necessarily resisting because they hate daycare; they’re just unsure of the unknown.

Start the Transition Early

1. Visit the Daycare

A little preview goes a long way. Take your toddler to the daycare or preschool a few times before their first official day. Many daycares allow "orientation days" or short visits where you can explore the space together.

Why is this important? It helps their brain register the environment as familiar. Point out the toys, meet the teachers, or let them explore the playground. By the time Day One rolls around, it won’t feel like such a foreign place.

2. Talk About It

In the weeks leading up to the big day, casually weave daycare into your conversations. Keep it light and positive:

- “Guess what? You’ll get to play with new toys at daycare!”
- “I heard there’s storytime there—how cool is that?”

It’s all about planting seeds of excitement in their little minds. Avoid framing it as a “separation” (e.g., “I have to leave you there”), which might spark anxiety. Instead, frame it as a big adventure.

Build a Routine

Toddlers thrive on routine; it’s their comfort zone. Establishing a consistent schedule can work wonders during this transition.

3. Practice the Morning Routine

Before their first day, rehearse what mornings will look like. Wake them up, get dressed, eat breakfast, pack their daycare bag, and head out the door—just like it’ll happen on a regular daycare day. Practicing routines ahead of time helps minimize surprises and makes the transition feel smooth and predictable.

4. Create Goodbye Rituals

Goodbyes are hard, even for adults. Saying goodbye too abruptly might leave your toddler feeling abandoned, while dragging it out can build their anxiety. Strike a balance by creating a simple, consistent goodbye ritual.

Maybe it’s a high-five and a hug, or a little saying like, “Mommy always comes back!” Whatever you choose, stick to it every time—it helps them feel reassured.

Help Them Feel Connected

Separation anxiety usually spikes because your toddler feels, well, disconnected. You can ease this by providing tangible reminders of home.

5. Pack a Comfort Item

Let them take something special with them, like a small stuffed animal, a family photo, or even a T-shirt that smells like you. This small token can act like a security blanket throughout the day.

6. Keep It Short at First

If possible, ease into full days at daycare. Start with half-days or a couple of hours at a time. Gradually increasing the time will help your toddler build trust and confidence, knowing you’ll be back soon.

Work with the Daycare Staff

7. Communicate Openly

Your toddler’s daycare teachers are your new best friends during this transition. Share any information about your child’s preferences, habits, or triggers. Do they need a nap after lunch? Are they comforted by lullabies? The more the daycare knows, the better they can help your little one settle in.

8. Trust the Teachers

This one’s for you, mama (or dad). It’s hard not to second-guess every decision when your child is upset. But remember: daycare professionals are trained for this. They’ve probably guided hundreds of other toddlers through the same stage. Trust that they know how to comfort and engage your child while they're out of your arms.

Expect (and Embrace) the Tears

Let’s be real—there will be tears. And that’s okay. Crying is your child’s way of expressing their emotions, not a sign that daycare is a failure or that you’ve done something wrong.

9. Stay Calm and Positive

When you stay calm, your toddler feels calmer too. If you look stressed or hesitant, they’ll pick up on those vibes and mirror it. So, hold it together in front of them—even if you’ve got a lump in your throat. Cry your heart out later in the car if you need to.

10. Be Patient

Adjusting to daycare takes time, and every toddler moves at their own pace. Some may warm up in a week, while others may take a month or two. Create room for the process, and remember that consistency is key. Eventually, the tears will subside, and they might even start running into daycare with excitement.

Celebrate Small Wins

11. Acknowledge Their Bravery

If they had a good day—or even just managed to stop crying after drop-off—make it a big deal. Celebrate their bravery like they just climbed Mount Everest (because in their little world, they kind of did). Positive reinforcement works wonders for building confidence.

12. Reflect Together

When they come home, ask open-ended questions like, “What was your favorite thing about today?” This frames the experience positively and encourages them to look for the good moments in their day.

When to Seek Help

Sometimes, adjusting to daycare can be more challenging than expected. If your toddler seems overly distressed for weeks on end, isn’t eating or sleeping well, or has a noticeable change in behavior, it might be worth having a more in-depth conversation with their teachers—or even consulting a child psychologist.

Final Thoughts

Sending your toddler to daycare or preschool is a big transition, and truthfully, it might be tougher on your heart than theirs. But as you patiently guide them through this change, you’re helping them develop independence, social skills, and trust in the world around them.

Give yourself grace, trust the process, and remember: the tears are temporary, but the growth and experiences are forever. Before long, you’ll be hearing stories about their new friends, favorite songs, and all the fun they’re having.

You’ve got this—and so do they.