When Sharing Is Hard: Teaching Toddlers About Taking Turns

7 September 2025

Teaching toddlers to share and take turns can feel like trying to explain taxes to a two-year-old—pretty much impossible at first. If you've ever watched a toddler meltdown over a toy, you know exactly what I mean. But don’t worry, friend, you’re not alone in this! Sharing is a skill that takes time, patience, and a whole lot of repetition.

In this article, we'll dive into why toddlers struggle with sharing, how to gently guide them toward taking turns, and some game-changing strategies to make sharing feel like a fun experience rather than a dreaded chore.

Why Is Sharing So Hard for Toddlers?

Before we can teach toddlers about sharing, we need to understand why it’s such a monumental challenge for them. Here’s the deal:

1. Toddlers Are Naturally Egocentric

It's not that they’re being selfish on purpose. Their little brains are wired to see the world through their own needs and desires first. They haven't yet grasped the concept that other people have feelings and wants just like they do.

2. The “Mine” Phase Is Real

Ever heard your toddler scream “MINE!” while clutching a random object like their life depends on it? Yup, that’s a normal developmental stage. They are just starting to understand ownership, and sharing feels like they are losing something instead of gaining an experience.

3. Impulse Control Isn’t There Yet

Sharing requires patience and self-control—two things toddlers are still developing. Expecting a two-year-old to wait their turn without any frustration is like expecting a puppy to ignore a treat sitting right in front of them.

How to Teach Toddlers About Taking Turns

So, now that we know why sharing is tough, how do we help our little ones learn to take turns without World War III breaking out every time they play with a friend? Here are some tried-and-true strategies:

1. Model Sharing in Everyday Life

Kids learn by watching us. If they see you happily sharing a piece of your cookie or taking turns with your spouse picking a movie, they’re more likely to imitate that behavior. Narrate what you’re doing:

> “I’m going to share my apple with you because sharing is kind!”

These little moments add up and show them that sharing is a normal part of life.

2. Use a Timer for Taking Turns

Visual timers can be a game-changer. If your child struggles with giving up a toy, set a timer and say:

> “You can play with the truck for two more minutes, then it will be Sam's turn.”

This helps them see that taking turns doesn’t mean losing out forever—it just means a short wait before they get another turn.

3. Praise Good Sharing in the Moment

When your toddler shares or takes turns, shower them with praise! Positive reinforcement goes a long way. Try saying:

> “I love how you let your friend play with the blocks! That was so kind.”

This makes them feel good about their actions and encourages them to repeat the behavior.

4. Introduce Turn-Taking Games

Make learning to take turns fun! Games like rolling a ball back and forth, playing musical chairs, or even taking turns stirring pancake batter can teach patience in a playful way.

5. Use Storytelling to Teach Sharing

Kids love stories! Read books about sharing and turn-taking, like Llama Llama Time to Share or Sharing Time by Elizabeth Verdick. These books help toddlers see sharing from a different perspective and make the lesson sink in.

6. Give Them Some Control

Toddlers love feeling in charge. Instead of forcing them to share, ask:

> “Would you like to share your red car or your blue car with your friend?”

This gives them a sense of autonomy while still encouraging sharing.

7. Create “Special” and “Community” Toys

Some toys are just too precious for a toddler to share—and that’s okay! Allow them to have a few "special" toys that they don’t have to share, while also encouraging “community” toys for playdates. This helps them feel safe while slowly learning the value of sharing.

8. Encourage Empathy

Help your little one understand how others feel. If they refuse to share, try gently saying:

> “Look, your friend looks sad because they want a turn. How would you feel if you wanted to play and no one shared with you?”

While they might not fully grasp it right away, planting these seeds of empathy will help them grow into more compassionate individuals.

Handling Sharing Struggles Without Tears

Even with all these strategies, there will still be moments when your child refuses to share—and that’s normal. Here’s how to handle those tough situations without losing your cool.

1. Stay Calm and Supportive

If a sharing battle erupts, take a deep breath. Yelling or forcing the issue can make toddlers even more resistant. Instead, use a calm and reassuring tone.

2. Validate Their Feelings

Acknowledge their frustration before guiding them toward a solution:

> “I know you really want to keep playing with that toy. It’s hard to share sometimes!”

This lets them feel heard and understood, making them more willing to cooperate.

3. Redirect When Needed

Sometimes, redirection works wonders. If your child refuses to share, offer another fun activity to shift their focus.

> “While you wait for the toy, let’s play with these blocks together!”

This way, they stay engaged and learn patience without even realizing it.

4. Be Consistent

Repetition is key. Keep reinforcing turn-taking every day in little ways, and eventually, it will become second nature to them.

The Long Game: Teaching Sharing Takes Time

Teaching toddlers to share and take turns is a marathon, not a sprint. Some days will feel great, and others will leave you wondering if your toddler will ever willingly share anything. That’s okay! This is just one of many life lessons that require time to truly sink in.

Remember, your little one is learning and growing every day. Keep modeling, guiding, and encouraging them, and before you know it, they’ll be the ones reminding younger kids to take turns.

And when that moment comes? Oh, trust me, it feels like winning the parenting lottery.