Helping Kids Feel They Matter

June 8, 2026 - 01:48

A growing body of research highlights the importance of helping children feel that they matter. When kids believe they are valued by others and that their presence makes a difference, the benefits are significant. Studies show that this sense of mattering can lead to better social skills and improved academic performance. It also acts as a strong protective factor against negative behaviors and even suicidal ideation.

Mattering goes beyond simple self-esteem. It involves a child feeling that they are noticed, that they are important to the people around them, and that others rely on them. In practical terms, this means parents and teachers can foster this feeling by giving genuine attention, asking for a child's opinion, and showing that their contributions are meaningful. Small actions, like remembering something a child said or thanking them for a specific effort, can have a lasting impact.

Experts warn that a lack of this feeling can leave children feeling invisible or unimportant, which increases their risk for depression and risky behavior. The key is consistent, authentic interaction. It is not about constant praise, but about showing a child that they are an essential part of a family, a classroom, or a community. When children know they matter, they are more likely to thrive and less likely to harm themselves or others.