This Parenting Trend Could Cost You What Matters Most

July 29, 2026 - 07:06

Some parents are paying other people to handle the difficult parts of raising children, and they may not realize what they are giving up. A recent Wall Street Journal article sparked debate about wealthy families who outsource nearly every aspect of their kids' lives. The piece described parents who hire nannies not just for daytime hours but for evenings and weekends too. Some have brought in experts to potty-train their children or teach them to ride bikes. One mother said she had never clipped her own children's toenails because it made her too anxious. Another called herself a "max-three-hour mom," spending only weekend mornings with her kids before moving on to other things. She relied on a team of nannies, cleaners, a chef, and a chief of staff to free up time for what she called "high-impact, core memories" like vacations.

At the same time, former Senator Ben Sasse, who is facing a terminal cancer diagnosis, shared a different perspective. He told CNN that his biggest regret was not spending more time with his children. He described coming home from work trips and throwing his hotel keys into a box in his closet. Eventually, he said, the box held thousands of keys, each one representing a missed dinner with his kids. He asked himself, "What the hell was I doing instead of being with you?"

I am currently teaching my third child to read. I homeschool three of my four children. I know from experience that literacy takes years. It starts with a child on your lap while you read board books, then fairy tales, then longer stories. Along the way, there are endless questions. Do bears eat people? How does a baby kangaroo get out of its mother's pouch? Why did the Little Red Hen not share her cake? We work on letters. She calls capital letters "Mommy letters" and lowercase ones "Baby letters." She learned to write the first letter of her name and felt enormous pride. Eventually, after years of work, she will read her first book.

This process is not always delightful. There are tears of frustration. Teaching spelling can be brutal. Once, when one of my older sons and I were both at our breaking point over a spelling lesson, I printed out a poem from 1902 about the strange rules of English. It would be much easier to send my kids to school and let professional teachers handle the hard parts. But there is something special about all those hours logged together. I have learned about my own need for patience and empathy. I have learned where each child struggles and where they excel. I have watched their creativity bloom and their sense of responsibility grow.

I am not saying every parent must homeschool. Every family is different. But I have seen fathers who spend hours coaching their kids' baseball teams instead of relaxing at home. I have seen families where children work in the family business, learning how to paint houses or handle a budget. These parents know something important. The most meaningful times with kids are rarely the Disney World trips or the Instagram-worthy moments. They are the 3 a.m. wake-ups with a sick child. They are the frustrating spelling lessons. They are the slow, patient work of building a relationship.

Sasse's words, spoken while facing his own mortality, are a reminder worth heeding. At the end of life, the money and professional accolades will not matter as much as the time spent with the people who matter most.